Blog 3 - What to include in a funeral ceremony.
When you lose someone close, it’s a really difficult time and planning a funeral when adjusting to loss is challenging. Your bereavement may have been a shock and you have no idea what your loved one may have wanted, or you may have had time to plan their funeral together and feel confident about their wishes.
Either way, your Funeral Director and Celebrant are there to help you.
The purpose of a funeral is to respectfully say goodbye to someone. It is also there to offer some comfort to those who are left behind and adapting to life without that person.
There are lots of things to consider that should help to say goodbye and to offer comfort to people.
Music - what do you want to hear and why? You may want to choose a personal or family favourite, a traditional hymn, something uplifting, or something with particularly meaningful lyrics. Think about the entrance and exit music and also if you want to have a piece during the ceremony. A song/hymn during the ceremony can join people’s voices together so they feel connected. A piece of music in the ceremony can provide a focus during a period of reflection.
Opening words - it is good to start a funeral with some words of welcome. Consider if there are people who should have a particular mention - maybe they cannot attend or they have previously died, but meant a lot to your loved one.
Readings - some of your family or friends may like to give voice to the ceremony by reading something meaningful such as a poem. There are lots of things available online, but someone may also like to write a personal tribute to be shared on the day. If someone wants to read, but is worried about ‘getting through it’, then your Celebrant (or someone else) can be ready as a back up.
Eulogy - it’s really important to share history, stories, favourite jokes or phrases, and achievements with your Celebrant. This part of the ceremony is a time to celebrate the person’s life and character and people like to hear about the person to help them reflect on their life at the point of marking their passing.
Committal - this is the most solemn part of the ceremony where formal goodbyes are shared. This is shared at the point of burial. If you are having a cremation, the curtains can be closed at this point. Many people do not like to see the curtains closing in a cremation and it is fine to leave them open as these words are said if that is your preference.
Closing words - at the end of the funeral, some words of comfort can be shared to remind people that bereavement is a tough process and people can draw on each other for support.
Wake - many people like to have a social gathering after a funeral ceremony to continue the conversation about their loved one and to share stories and offer comfort to each other. Your Celebrant can mention this in their closing words if you would like people to attend.
As a Funeral (and Wedding) Celebrant, I would be happy to meet with you to discuss your ideas for a funeral and to write something personal for you. Use the contact section to get in touch.
